


to a great mind, nothing is little... including the thing down there

by orphan_account



Series: the dreamers are wild [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, ahaha wtf, don't judge i wrote this in 1 hour, dreamers yall, omg they're so wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 05:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11247468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “are you trying to get with nana?”renjun pushed him away.“excuse me? uhm, houston, we have a problem. the space station ain’t getting your fucking message.”“so is that a yes?”





	to a great mind, nothing is little... including the thing down there

“jaemin, if swimming is good for your shape, why are whales so fat?”

jaemin looked up from jeno’s lap and gave him the dirtiest look he could muster. jeno was peering down at his sketchbook and was scrawling across the page with refined movements as he spoke.

“jaeminnie, i asked if swim-“

“i know that you maggot.”

jeno continued his drawing and carried on his nonchalant act, switching his gaze to jaemin’s face every once in a while. jaemin scrunched up his nose and thought carefully. he remembered back to his bio lesson with his teacher, the one who he always caught trying to wax her nose hair on monday mornings, teaching him that whales ate a lot. like a lot a lot. he smiled, eyes moving into crescents.

“jeno.”

“hmm?”

“I think I have the answer.”

“enlighten me then, newton.”

“wouldn’t it be aldrich?”

“no, it’s newton.”

“but newton’s a physicist. aldrich is a marine biologist.”

“whatever, just tell me you cow.”

“they must tend to overeat after exercise, I guess.”

“what exercise? surely swimming can’t be exercise?” jeno put his sketchbook down and lifted jaemin’s head off of his lap, stretching his arms and flicking jaemin on the forehead.

“you’re acting like they’re humans that can’t seem to get a diet right. jeez, jaemin, I never thought that you would overthink this.”

jaemin laughed bitterly.

“okay then. I’ll give you a question.”

jeno’s eyes bore a look of confusion that came and went in a matter of milliseconds. he grinned like the cheshire cat and simply said,

“game on.”

…

it was three hours since jeno accepted the challenge, and he was yet to hear the question that jaemin had so gallantly proposed.

“nana, just freaking ask me the question. I won’t rat you out to taeyong-hyung if you swear or anything just ask me you bumhole.”

jaemin hummed.

“fine, then.”

“oh thank god.”

jaemin smiled, hiding it with his fist.

“okay, this may sound really dumb,”

“I seriously do not care.”

“fine. if vegetable oil is made out of fresh vegetables, and if corn oil is made out of fresh corn, what is baby oil made out of?”

jeno unceremoniously got up and smacked his forehead with a resounding sound.

“what was that for?!”

“for asking a stupid question.”

jaemin can’t help the beaming smile that breaks out on his face.

 

…

“minerals.”

jaemin turns around to face jeno with a strange look on his face.

“what?”

“you heard me. minerals.”

“is that the answer to the question I gave you earlier?”

“yeah.”

“how’d you know?”

“I just do.”

jaemin nudges him repeatedly.

“that’s not sufficient.”

jeno groans loud enough to be heard by seoul itself. jaemin’s phone starts buzzing on the table and he grabs it, answering as quickly as possible. it wasn’t a full 7 seconds before he hung up and threw his phone back onto its place.

“telemarketers?”

“you know it.”

it’s an entire minute before they speak again. jeno’s eyebrows knit themselves together in confusion.

“hey, nana?”

“hmm?”

“why did you want to answer your phone immediately?”

“it’s a stupid reason, don’t bother.”

jeno suddenly feels the onslaught of the minor pang of jealousy. what if jaemin was waiting for someone to call him? what if he was being really distant because of said person? jeno was going to find out.

oho, seoul needed to get ready. detective jeno was on the case.

 

…

 

jeno knew that jaemin was part of his clique, the ‘dreamers’, which were literally the only people they would talk to. jeno also knew that jaemin was close with renjun. which brought him to this not so fortunate situation.

renjun has his back against the wall, his peach hair making friction against the dusty brick. jeno walks slowly towards him, his small sketching pencil halfway in his mouth and his eyes glazed over with something he wasn’t so familiar with yet.

“uhm, jeno?”

no answer.

“jennie? jenjen? je no jams?”

“be quiet, renjun shounen. the detective is thinking.”

renjun had a million things racing through his head at that moment. a habit he refused to outgrow had made it’s way to the surface once again – making lists.

he had accumulated enough information for his latest addition, what the absolute fuck had gone wrong with lee jeno.

point 1. jeno thought he was a detective.

point 2. jeno thinks he probably is sherlock holmes, judging by the way he is holding his pencil in his mouth like a smoking pipe.

point 3. jeno has been watching too much boku no hero, as he even managed to put the ‘shounen’ from all might’s conversations with other people in there.

point 4. jeno is suddenly confident. if jeno from 3 days ago saw him now, he’d probably go into cardiac arrest. by then, he’d still have enough conscience and health to force a conversation between his future self, scolding him about what the hell had gone wrong in the span of three days.

okay, renjun was over thinking this. seriously. just as he was about to open his mouth to say something, jeno put a finger onto his lips and sighed.

“tut, tut, tut, renjun shounen. you never learn. when is it that you are going to understand that the detective must speak first and that you follow after?”

renjun looked down at the finger perched onto his mouth, then at jeno. jeno was sporting a coy smile, peering down at him. renjun could feel jeno’s warm breath trickling down his face.

“jeno.”

“hmm? renjun shounen?”

“if you’re trying to kabedon me it’s not working.”

jeno sighed noticeablely.

“renjunnie.”

“yes?”

“are you trying to get with nana?”

renjun pushed him away.

“excuse me? uhm, houston, we have a problem. the space station ain’t getting your fucking message.”

“so is that a yes?”

renjun pouted his lips in a sassy way and flipped him off,

“he is sexy but,”

“but what?”

“I’m kinda going for chenle at the moment.”

jeno let out a hearty laugh.

“renjunnie.”

“hmm?”

“the only way you could be more visibly and mentally gay right now is if you were vomiting rainbows.”

“oh my god, sherlock, just get out.”

jeno smiled.

“you know you love me.”

“our relationship is platonic, jen. get over it, I know I’m hot.”

“leave, gretchen.”

“yes sir!”

 

…

 

jeno also knew of a few other suspects for this mystery. renjun was obviously too gay to function (‘I can function thank you very much!’), so that pretty much left four people, including the evil baby, jisung. jeno thought that he didn’t pose much of a threat, and that he totally had the hots for a girl in another group, lami or llama or whatever.

jeno shook his head furiously. of course jaemin wouldn’t have the hots for jisung. chenle looked at jeno and upon seeing his overly scrutinising face, kicked him in the shin.

jeno gave him a dirty look.

“literally what the hell, chenle.”

chenle flashed one of his gummy smiles.

“what’s wrong, bubblebum?”

jeno sighed and turned around to fully face him. he nonchalantly grabbed both of chenles cheeks and leaned close to him.

“lemme get this straight. are you boning nana?”

chenle shrieked a shriek that couldn’t have been identified by anyone as a ‘dolphin laugh’. also rest in piece jeno.

 

…

 

three minutes. trois minutes. san bun.

It had been a whole three minutes and jeno still hadn’t recovered from chenle’s aftershocks. the kid was a hurricane when it came to screaming. it was like he took professional classes on it, scaring away potential kidnappers. at least chenle isn’t boning nana. that’s good enough.

 

jeno sat up on his bed, looking outside of his window. the sky was a really weird put pretty peach colour, which showed him that 1. it was sunset and 2. he spent his entire day trying to figure out if jaemin wanted to get with his friends. wow, he really was dedicated.

(he tried to give himself a high five and ended up slapping himself after.)

 

…

 

jeno wondered. if mark was going for donghyuck and they were most likely doing the do, without actually doing it (they literally eye-fuck each other every day omif these looks made themselves visible), then jaemin would be free!

jeno also thought that, hold on, he’d never thought to ask jaemin what the hell was going on.

he could do this. he wouldn’t cry. stop jeno you’re being silly. crying is for peasants.

 

“jaeminnie?”

jaemin looked up from the floor.

“hmm?”

“who’re you boning?”

jaemin spluttered.

“uhm, what?”

“you heard me.”

“where’d you get that from?”

“who’s were you waiting to call all damn day, huh?”

jaemin snickered.

“my ringtone.”

jeno looked at him incredulously. his eyes widened.

“what?”

jaemin gave a slightly bitter smile and gestured to his phone,

“call me.”

he did. jeno couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face. this DORK!

“lemme get this straight,”

“uh, yeah?”

“you’ve been waiting for someone to call you,”

“yeah?”

“so you could hang up,”

“yeah?”

“because of how stupid your ringtone is?”

“exactly.”

“holy crap, bro.”

jaemin looks at jeno, a smile adorning his features.

“hey, jeno?”

“hmm, yeah?”

“renjunnie told me that you like me.”

“he’s probably lying.”

“oh, really? I was hoping for some company tonight but if you don’t want to, I’ll ask donghyuck or someone else, I guess?”

jeno widens his eyes even wider than usual.

 

…

 

(they wake up on the same bed the next day.)

(jeno doesn’t even cringe when jaemin asks him in the weirdest way possible for a kiss.)

(he kisses him anyways.) 

**Author's Note:**

> hey yall i hope you enjoyed this little thing  
> also if you wanted to know the ringtone is the same as bok joo's from weightlifting fairy!
> 
> also accepting prompts below


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